Monday Makeover

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Do you dread Mondays? Dread might be a little strong, but I have felt it too. The weekend is over. Whatever time you had to relax or participate in activities you enjoy is used up, and it’s back to work. Few of us have the pleasure of enjoying the activity that puts food on the table. It has to be done, so we drag ourselves out of bed and ace another week.

Does it have to be this way? Many a book has been written to say otherwise. They tell you to pursue your dream. They tell you that if you just try hard enough you can get there. They’re not all wrong. Many have been inspired to take the leap and have changed their lives for the better. But what if your path to peace doesn’t come from changing your circumstances, but from changing yourself?

The key to facing Monday with gusto rather than gloom is not in changing Monday, but in changing the way you think about Monday. See opportunities rather than obstacles. Consider ways you can make the day better instead of things that make the day worse. Remember your purpose and take joy in fulfilling it. Maybe the job you’re doing right now doesn’t seem to have a lot of purpose in it, but there is purpose in every experience that we have. We can know this if we place our trust in a purposeful creator.

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was created secretly, and intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my embryo, and in your book they all were written — days fashioned for me when there was not one of them.

Psalm 139:15-16 LSB

There would be no extraordinary days without the ordinary. Keep doing what is in front of you. You do well to provide for yourself. You do well to provide for your family. You do better if you have something to give to someone else in need. We’re all looking for something more, and well we should, But do not lose heart on the journey. Each day is another step closer to your destiny, and if you are walking with Jesus, that destiny is glorious!

Christians Should Be Leading the Way to Accessibility

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The word, “Accessible”, has added significance to those of us who have disabilities. When we want to know if something is accessible, we want to know if there are barriers to entry that will prevent us from making use of it and if accommodations have been made to remove those barriers. Though awareness has increased significantly over the past few decades, due in part to the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, there is still much work to be done and Christians ought to be leading the way.

I struggle with how to present this in a way that does not seem preachy, whiney, or demanding. I am keenly aware that I am one who would benefit from these efforts. I suppose the best way to address that issue is to freely admit that there’s at least some selfish motivation in my writing. I only ask that you try to look past that reality and see the truth in what I am presenting.

I am not of the opinion that anyone owes me anything. Law or no law, I have no right to demand from you something that you are not willing to give. To do so is only to use the law to take that which does not belong to me. It may be an indirect taking, as in forcing you to spend money on an accommodation that you would not otherwise provide and benefits a very small number of people. I would still consider that a theft of your resources, and I have no moral right to do that.

With that out of the way, I find it disturbing that one most often finds thee barriers to entry among organizations that one would expect to be most sensitive to the needs of others. In many cases, it’s just a matter of ignorance. In others, there are other factors that are worthy of consideration, such as the cost of the accommodation relative to the number of people who will benefit, and whether there are alternatives that will meet the objective. I am going to focus on technology here simply because it is the area with which I am most familiar, and in general provides the greatest opportunity for progress at minimal cost. I will illustrate the point with my own experiences over the past few years. I will avoid naming specific organizations because my intent is to raise awareness and not to defame good people doing good work who just need to be educated. The issues I cite are not unique to Christian or conservative outlets, but they stand out in these cases since they contribute to the charges of uncaring hypocrisy.

As you may already be aware, I rely on screen reading software to translate the content on my screen into spoken words because I cannot see well enough to identify it without assistance. As technology has advanced, this has become an increasingly complex task. In the early days, the software only needed to read back the text output as it appeared on the screen. As text based programs became more sophisticated, the software needed to be able to determine which elements should be spoken and which ignored in order to present information to the user efficiently. It became necessary to provide ways for the user to customize what is read back in ways that made sense for the particular application and according to his or her own preferences.

Then came the graphical user interface and a whole new set of problems. Now controls might be represented by graphics instead of text. Things might be anywhere on the screen, and one is expected to find and click them with a mouse. Pictures may be used to convey useful information, but how is a software program to determine what the picture is for and whether it contains such information? The creators of operating systems and screen readers worked together to resolve these problems. They were making progress, but then came the wild west of the world wide web. Almost instantly, anyone could create content for anything. Standards? What standards? Part of the beauty of the platform lies in the ability to be creative. Standards exist, but no one has to follow them unless compelled by law. This presents a challenge for screen reader makers and users. Computer programs work by performing predefined processes on predefined input. If the input doesn’t follow the rules, the program will not handle it correctly. That’s where we get the term, “garbage in, garbage out.” That’s a real problem if the garbage was supposed to be the information a blind user needs in order to use a web site or perform a job.

In the early days of web development, it might have been said that one had to sacrifice visual appeal to produce an accessible web site. Many developers chose to solve the problem by creating alternative web sites for screen reader users. This often resulted in what has been termed accessibility ghettos. The alternative sites often lacked features available to those using the primary site. It created extra work for the developers as they had to modify two sites instead of just one. Consequently, the alternative pages often fell into disrepair.

The good news is that this is no longer necessary. If accessibility is considered in all phases of development, it is not necessary to compromise the visual appeal of a web page, and it doe not add significantly to the development effort. Software tools now often provide the necessary elements for designing accessible pages.

Even so, we continue to see inaccessible web sites and smart phone apps everywhere. I was particularly disappointed a couple of years ago after the events of 2020 & 2021, when social media censorship became so aggressive that many of us began looking for alternatives. Not one of the options I tried was really usable. Some of them were technically accessible, but their design was such that navigating through them with a screen reader was cumbersome and not worth the effort. The apps were no better and often worse. I frequently encountered unlabeled graphical controls and elements that seemed to have no method of reaching them that didn’t involve clicking with a mouse or tapping directly on them, a problem when the screen reader doesn’t even know they are there. Granted, these upstarts may not be able to afford and accessibility team such as Facebook has and X (Twitter) used to have, but had they had considered accessibility from the ground up, such a group might never have been necessary. I find the same challenges when using alternative news sites, video sharing sites, and streaming services.

When I wrote the book, I used accessibility and our experience with it as an opening to introduce deeper concepts that I hope will bring peace and purpose to those who read it. I also hoped that it might bring me opportunity to advocate for accessibility among people who should be at the forefront of such efforts but have not taken up the challenge. In most cases I truly believe it’s a matter of education, and I want to play a part in changing that.

The Wonder of the word

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If every word that has been written were written on the sky, would the world see the sun?  Man’s attempt to build the tower of Babel was thwarted by the Almighty.  Man thinks to build it again with bricks of glue and paper.

If every word that man has spoken were spoken all at once, would the world be deafened by the noise?  Every man caries his soap box.  How often he fails to see that the contents of his platform would benefit from an application of the former contents of his platform,  but it is so much easier to carry when empty.

A word is an abstract thing.  When written, a mere collection of letters.  When spoken, a collection of sounds.  A word may be seen, heard, even felt, but of itself it has no substance.  Yet our world is defined by words.

What a paradox is the word.  Words in the mouth of one are priceless, while the same words in the mouth of another are worthless.  They carry the power of destruction and the power of creation.  They are a murderer’s knife and a surgeon’s scalpel.  They are a deadly poison and a healing tonic.

Oh that we would learn to give value to our words, for the power of the word is in the speaker.  How often we toss them around like refuse, taking no thought for where they may land.  We expect others to except them as truth, but fail to honor them ourselves.  In our anger we throw them at the ones we love, and then don’t understand why they throw them back at us.  We see our own bleeding and still fail to understand that the same thing that wounded us also wounded them.  We grow our thick skin, which, while it may be less easily damaged, is also less able to feel.

Where is the truth?  If we construct an understanding of ourselves and our world with words, where is the foundation that would support such a structure?  What an amazing thing, that the creator of the universe would choose as one way to define Himself, “The Word.”  The Word brought the earth into existence. The Word created man in His own image.  “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.”  The Word is life to us.  It is His power delivered to us through His words that provides a standard by which the value of all other words may be judged.  The enigmatic word, personified, purified and glorified, is Jesus Himself. May The Word be the master of your words from this day forward.

Do Not Let Your Heart Be Troubled

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Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

John 14:27 LSB

No sane person is completely without fear. Fear helps to protect us from real danger. Fear that is under control is healthy. It is part of how we are made. But there is a difference between natural fear and that which goes deeper, disabling us more profoundly than any physical malady we may face. The fear of what might be can be our greatest enemy, and it often comes from within.

It may not be without foundation. We all face real threats with at least some probability of manifestation. I am facing some of those now. What if something else happens to Linda? Sooner or later, it probably will. What if my unemployment lasts longer than I expect it to and we run out of money? What if something happens to me that I can’t properly care for her anymore? I have had some troubling symptoms. What if the church folds? What does that say about me? Those are real threats. How should I respond?

Obviously I should do whatever I can within reason to mitigate the threats, but my power only goes so far. I have a choice to make. Will I be paralyzed by the fear, or will I trust in the Lord? Do I believe what I have written, or was it all a lie? More importantly, do I believe what He has written by the hands of the authors of the Bible.

I choose to trust. I choose to believe. These things may still happen, but I believe it when He said He would work all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). His Spirit living within me gives to me the peace He speaks of in the verse at the top of this post. Note that he says, “Do not let.” That means you, too, have a choice. Trust in Him, and let His peace fill your heart.

The Journey Continues

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I am not sure how to write this, but it seems to me worthwhile to expand on what I have written in the book in a way that reveals the ongoing struggles that come with life on this earth and the strength to endure that comes from our Lord. I have written of success as something defined by Him and not by us. I am determined that His view is the only one that matters to me. We all know that’s easy to say and hard to live.

I finished the book just as I began a new job. It had been my hope that I might use the free time granted me by the severance package I had from my previous employer to build up the church, and maybe start a new career, but I had no clear vision of what that looked like. When the end of the severance payments drew near, I fell back on what I knew and took a job as a contract programmer. I had a peace about it. Our tithes are a significant part of the churches income. The best thing I could do for the church at that time was to return to work and keep the money flowing.

The past month has brought new challenges. My wife, Linda, had a fall, cut her head, and ended up in a rehab hospital. Her care has become increasingly difficult, and I knew we could not keep going as we were. This incident forced the issue. She’s back home now, and we are trying to figure out how to adapt to a new reality and wondering how long until it changes again. My last contract ended, and the bills are starting to arrive.

She came home last Friday. She has not been able to attend church in person for some time, but we broadcast our messages through Facebook. She calls another member who feels that she cannot attend and they watch together. As long as I am not gone for more than a few hours, she has been fine by herself. However, that was not the case last Sunday, so soon after being discharged. We were planning on doing things as normal, but as it became apparent that she would not be alright left alone, I called off the service and stayed home with her. During the “pandemic”, we briefly did everything remotely, but I had just canceled my Zoom subscription to save money.

The week before, our treasurer informed the church that we were spending more than we take in, a situation we have not faced in decades. Due to her careful management, we are not in immediate peril, but it is a strong signal that things need to change if we are to keep the doors open.

In the past few weeks, I have paced the floor, prayed and cried. The emotions overtake me without warning, sometimes with no apparent provocation. Who am I to write about success? I seem to be failing at everything that matters to me, and as I understand it, to God. I grieve the suffering of my beloved, and I don’t see how this gets better. There is not one person in our congregation that isn’t suffering from something, and I grieve for them as well.

Yet in the middle of all of this, Holy Spirit speaks to me, and tears come to my eyes again as I reflect on His goodness. Everything that He has taught me remains true. If I look to myself, I am guaranteed to fail. If I look to Father, His strength will be shown in my weakness. I believe what He said. I know that He is doing a greater work than I can see from here. I know that I can trust Him. My success is still accessible, because it is in His hands, not mine.

In conclusion, I would like to share with you the message that I delivered to the church last time we met. It is part of a series on the book of John, but it has particular relevance to the things I have been speaking of here. It won’t be the most eloquent thing you ever heard, but it is a powerful illustration of the truth. I hope it will bless you as I was blessed in its preparation.

The Spirit of Peace

Have You No Shame

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When shame is deserved, it can be a good thing.  It can cause us to renounce what we should be ashamed of and make better choices in the future.  But too often it is unjustified, and that’s when it becomes a destructive force.  We can be free from shame by the cleansing that is available to us when we turn away from our sin and to the lordship of Jesus.  He paid the price for us and took our shame.

Sometimes it’s the undeserved shame that is harder to purge.  Because I know people who struggle with it, I’ll specifically address that which many feel related to their disability.  I can because I’ve been there.  For me it came because I believed that I was supposed to be healed. For others it may be because of the way they see disability or the way they imagine (not always without foundation) that others see them.

Shame is completely inappropriate when its basis is something you cannot change.  It makes no more sense to be ashamed of disability than it does to be ashamed of being short.  Yeah, I know something about that one too. On some level, most of us know that, but knowing it doesn’t help much.  We still feel ashamed.

I wish I could say something that would help anyone fighting this battle to win immediate victory, but I cannot.  In my own life it took decades, and when I get into awkward situations, it still shows up.  What I do hope I can provide is a little incentive for anyone struggling with it to find ways to overcome it.  I write from the perspective of disability because it’s what I know.

My wife and I have been called by God to serve others facing disability.  We want to give from what we have been given.  I was raised with affirmation, encouragement, and discipline. I was never allowed to develop an attitude of disability or entitlement.  This has allowed me to succeed in the working world, but I’m still growing. I know at least in part where my weaknesses lie.

The key for me has been learning to trust in God.  We repeat that until it becomes little more than a Christin cliché, but we shouldn’t lose the truth of it.  When I finally realized how little depended on me and how faithful God is to complete what He started despite my failures, I began to experience true freedom.  I wrote that Jesus took our shame.  He did this through His sacrifice on the cross.  I was thinking of shame that comes from acknowledged guilt, but it is more than that.  Jesus took all of our shame.  We did nothing and we cannot do anything to deserve it.

When we realize how much depends on God and how little on us, we realize that we have nothing to be ashamed of.  At the root of unmerited shame is pride.   When we are focused on ourselves, we think about what we can and cannot do.  We see ourselves as we imagine that others see us. When we turn our focus to Jesus, we know that there is nothing He cannot do.  His power is perfected in our weakness (2 co 12:9) and we can do anything He requires of us by His strength (Phil. 4:13.)

We all have a purpose.  God has a mission for you. Your circumstance may even be part of it.  It could be that God wants you to share what He has given you with someone else facing a similar challenge.  Often the best people to lead us through are those who have been there. 

But if you carry shame, you will not be very effective.  It will cover you like a soiled garment, and that is all others will be able to see.  Shame changes our behavior.  Different personalities will attempt to hide it in various ways.  We may retreat into ourselves.  We may become anxious, angry, and defensive. We may put on a mask of arrogance. Why would anyone want to associate with that?  Throw away the shame that hinders you from being all that God intended.  Let Him take it from you.  Live in the freedom and purpose that comes from being in harmony with Yahweh, your God and creator.

Blind Ambition, Fast Cars, and Walking On Water

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It was 2010. I had been feeling a little restless. I felt like I had become too comfortable relying on the help of others.  As a young man, I used to go all over the place on my own, but having settled down in one place, made friends, gotten older, and gotten married, I increasingly relied on others to get me where I needed to go.  I recognized it as a wonderful blessing, but it started to bother me. I felt a little trapped.  I felt resentful of the limitations others seemingly placed on me.  The truth is they did nothing but help me. If I felt confined, it was my own fault.  I feared that I was forgetting how to manage on my own, and I couldn’t afford to let that happen.  One never knows what the future will hold.  I was grateful for the life I had, but circumstances change.  People move away, get sick, or just don’t’ have time anymore.  I need the exercise both physically and mentally of getting out and doing things for myself.

Thus it was that I began my little misadventure that day. Overall I enjoyed it.  I did make my destination and had a great time while there.  It was just the traveling that didn’t go so well.

I was headed for a meeting of Blind Ambitions Groups, a local support group that met once a month in various locations around the Dallas area. I don’t remember what made me try it on Google Maps.  It might have been simply the discovery that the service was better than DART’s own for plotting a trip by public transit. Walking directions had just been introduced. This was my first time to try them out.

The trip started out well enough.  I got on the same bus to the train station that I would take when going down town for work.  The driver saw my white cane and wanted to be sure I knew I didn’t have to pay the full fair.  I almost always paid full fair.  It was partly because I had not taken the time to go get the ID card that would officially qualify me, and partly because I have never liked to take handouts I don’t really need.  It is a reasonable argument that whatever I think about subsidies they do exist and my taxes are paying for them, but it didn’t feel right, and it would be several more years before I finally signed up for paratransit services.

Things started to go south when I made it to the train station.  Literally, I took the south bound train instead of the north bound train I needed to be on.  Don’t ask me why.  There is no confusion as to where to get on each train, so I can only blame myself for that one.  I realized my error as the doors closed behind me and the train pulled away from the station.  I had to get off at the next stop and wait for the one going back north, costing me a valuable ten minutes or more.  The north bound train was standing room only and the operator did not announce the stops as they are supposed to do when no automated system is in place.  Maybe he or she wasn’t aware that the system wasn’t working.  I made it to my stop without further incident, asking my fellow passengers for help.

Then I needed to get from the station to the church where the meeting was held.  That should be no problem, right?  I have my trusty Google Maps walking directions.  The trouble is that they were a little misleading.  They may have been technically accurate, but they left me the impression that one street would curve and become another when in fact what confronted me looked like a standard intersection.  Maybe there was a reasonable explanation, but I was confused.  In an instant my internal map was shredded and I didn’t know where to go.  I knew the general lay of the land and thought I knew where some of the major streets were, but I could not find most of the signs using my monocular. After a bit of wandering around and a conversation with a friendly apartment dweller, I made my way to the street where the church was located and got to the meeting about thirty minutes late.

I thoroughly enjoyed the meeting.  Amazingly or maybe not so amazingly listening to how the order process kept being interrupted by random conversation, the planned meal had not been ordered yet.  It was a very small group, but I like that.  The larger the group the more isolated I feel.  I made new friends and got to know another one a little better.

When the meeting was over, I had to get back home.  I had no problem getting back to the train station.  I got an earlier train than the one I planned for, so when I got off I thought I could walk the approximately two miles from the train station to my house before the next bus would get me there.

I suppose I might have learned from the first experience that relying on what Google told me might not be the best idea, especially since it was starting to get dark.  No, how hard can it be?  All I had to do was make it down to one street from the station and go over to the one my house is on.  There was a major highway between me and my destination, but I’ve handled that before.  I didn’t imagine any major difficulty in doing it that night. 

Maybe in the full light of day I might have seen the proper path to get across the on and off ramps to the expressway and continue my journey home, but what happened instead is that I made it under the bridge and then realized that I was in a very bad position.  There is a large area of concrete off the road where I was standing, but in the failing light it was hard to be certain that I wasn’t in the road.  Between me and safety was the off ramp to the highway and anyone making that turn would not have been able to see me and stop before hitting me.  I could not see around the concrete wall to attempt crossing the exit before a car would come flying down the ramp.  Getting into that situation wasn’t easy, and when I went back to see if I could retrace my steps to the bus station I realized I was in no better position on the other side.

After a couple of unnerving false starts, I saw that I was in trouble.  I just stood there looking around and hoping some kind soul would rescue me.  I started holding my cane up over my head, but I was not in a good place for anyone to stop if they were of a mind to.  They probably thought I was begging.  I finally managed to swallow my pride, and not knowing what else to do, I called 911.  I might have called my wife or other friends in the area, but I didn’t know if I could tell them how to safely get to me.  So it was that I finish my trek in a police car.  At least I wasn’t in the back.  Thank you Sergeant Holly.

So we’ve covered the blind ambition and the fast cards. What about walking on water? To cap off this fine evening, I entered my house to find that our water heater began leaking while I was out. My first clue was the squelching of soggy carpet as I walked down the hall. My wife had everything in hand, and I was just glad to be safely home.  My first thought was to rejoice, because the One who really walks on water reached out His hand and pulled us up.  I’d do it again, but now I prefer Uber.

Reflections on Friendship

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I’ve always had trouble making friends. It was a little easier as a youngster, but I think even then if other children had not approached me first, I would have had even fewer childhood friends than I did. I could blame it on missing some of the social cues that sighted people get. That may be so, but that would just be an excuse that I don’t allow myself in any other aspect of life. I never took the steps necessary to overcome the challenge, so I spent much of my life being lonely.

What does friendship really mean? Whenever I have a fundamental question like this, I start with the source of truth. Can the Bible help us understand friendship? I think it can. If Jesus has something to say about it, I’m going to pay attention.

13”Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.  14You are My friends if you do what I command you.  15No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.  16You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.  17This I command you, that you love one another.” 

John 15:13-17 NASB 1995

We throw the word friend around almost as loosely as we do the word love.  We’ve reduced a concept of deep and precious meaning to a frivolous moniker for a social networking connection.  I’ve got “friends” I don’t even know!  Even so, we know the difference.  Friend is a warm fuzzy word we like to use, but if we are asked I think most of us would not call very many people true friends.  Though we use the word lightly, we know what it really should mean, and we crave those relationships.

I would say that a friend is someone who loves you for who you are.  Friendship may exist within the ties of blood, but is most often found outside of any condition that would presuppose some kind of love.  It is born of affection unencumbered by expectation.  We all want to be loved like that.

I think most of us go through life without seeing that.  Maybe we just don’t meet the right people, or maybe we’re too shy, or maybe too shallow, or maybe…fill in the blank.  The problem may be a little closer to the heart.  We don’t have friends like that because we don’t know how to be friends like that. 

I go back to Jesus’ words.  They are significant on several levels, and I hope I will not take them too far out of context as I draw some conclusions from them beyond the clear and ultimately significant connection between Jesus’ sacrifice and our response to it.

“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends”

Is there anyone you would die for?  I might say there is, but can I know until I am put into a situation where I must make that choice?  Hopefully none of us will have to face that, but Jesus did.  This is why I say that true friendship involves self-sacrificing love.  The next statement doesn’t seem too friendly.

“You are My friends if you do what I command you.”

Did you ever have a childhood playmate say something like “I’ll be your friend if …?”  Maybe you thought it was worth it and did what was asked of you.  My guess is it didn’t end well.  A friendship doesn’t do well when one dominates the other.  So how does it work when Jesus says it?  First of all, He’s God, so that changes things a bit.  That He would call us friends at all is a measure of His love for us.  Since He gave everything for us, it is not so unreasonable of Him to ask everything from us.  Then he lets us in on His plan, illustrating another aspect of friendship.  It is not slaves he wants, but friends who know what He is doing and want to do it with Him.  Friends share their hopes and dreams with one another and help each other achieve them.  Then look at what he commanded!

“This I command you, that you love one another.”

This is what He wants.  This is what He did for us.

One other thing I want to point out from these few verses.

“You did not choose Me but I chose you…”

If we take Jesus as our example, the joy of making friends falls upon us.  There is truth in the old cliché, “To have a friend you have to be a friend.”  So this is my challenge to all those who don’t feel they have enough good friends.  Go be one.  It won’t be easy.  I can’t say that I know how.  I’m thankful to still have friends who are better at it than I am.  A lasting friendship truly is a cooperative affair and not everyone you approach will cooperate, but it’s worth the effort.  Practice love, and you just might find it coming back at you.  One thing is for certain.  Jesus is a friend who will never fail.  Start by loving Him and trust that He will show you what to do from there.

Party of One

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One Sunday morning a few years into our marriage, my wife and I went out for breakfast.  As we waited for a table, I heard, “Lee, party of one.”  Maybe it was Leigh.  I didn’t see who responded.  I just remember thinking, “I used to do that.”  At first, I even enjoyed it.  It was part of the adventure of being on my own and doing what I wanted to do.  The fun didn’t last.  As the lonely years went by, I stopped going out just to go out.  You can’t have a party with only one.  It set me wondering about the circumstances that brought this person to wait and eat alone in a crowded restaurant on a bright Sunday morning.  In our disconnected society that devalues relationship, was she always alone?  Is he sitting at the table sending text messages while facing the empty seat on the other side?  Is this a temporary or permanent situation?

We were never meant to be alone.  God made that plain from the beginning (Gen 2:18.)  We were made to love and be loved.  I believe that God gave us all forms of relationship to teach us how He loves us, though in our fallen world these relationships are often corrupted and do not serve their intended purpose.  As children we know the need for our father’s love.  As parents we get a glimpse of God’s love for His children.  As spouses we see a shadow of the intimacy we are meant to have with God.  Relationships are precious things to be nurtured and treasured.  I know what it’s like to be alone. Though in those early years the difficulties of forging a successful marriage at times made me think I was better off before, I thanked God then and thank Him now that I do not have to hear, “Larry, party of one.”

For fifteen years I lay in the painful shards of a broken relationship and crushed dreams, until God rescued me.  My trust in Him continues to grow as the things I once thought impossible become reality.  This is my encouragement to those still waiting.  Put your trust in Jesus and you will never be alone (Rom 8:38-39.)  Wait on Him, and you will find true love.

Have a Seat

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I used to take the light rail to work in downtown Dallas from my home in Richardson, Texas. The train was always full in the morning. Often, I would choose to stand rather than fumble my way through the car in hopes of finding an empty seat that probably wasn’t there until someone was guilted of getting up and giving me theirs.

Which brings me to the frequent dilemma that confronted me when I stepped into the front of that train car.   Should I take the seat that someone just got out of so I can sit down, or do I literally stand on principle?

Here’s the thinking. People tend to form lasting opinions based on first impressions. Do I not have a responsibility behalf of any other person who is blind that these people may encounter in the future to make the “right” impression? There was also just my plain ugly old pride.  If someone asked me, I would often say, politely I hope, “No. Thank you. My legs still work.” 

As I got older and my knees got achier, my resolve got weaker. If someone got out of their seat, especially without saying anything, I would sit in it. I could pretend I didn’t see it happen. I decided it wasn’t worth making a scene, and yeah, I’d rather sit.

Sometimes an elderly gentleman would get on with me who demanded we get seats.  He actually needed one.  I always felt a little embarrassed.  “These seats are reserved for us by law,” he says. That’s true, but then I couldn’t board that train without thinking someone would get up out of guilt or a sense of obligation.  Some would say that’s good.  I don’t agree.  In the long run it’s counterproductive.  These people have been made to feel more uncomfortable around people with handicaps.  That is the opposite of what we need.  Should they get up for us?  Certainly they should be under no obligation to get up for me.  My eyes don’t have anything to do with whether or not I can stand.