I used to take the light rail to work in downtown Dallas from my home in Richardson, Texas. The train was always full in the morning. Often, I would choose to stand rather than fumble my way through the car in hopes of finding an empty seat that probably wasn’t there until someone was guilted of getting up and giving me theirs.

Which brings me to the frequent dilemma that confronted me when I stepped into the front of that train car.   Should I take the seat that someone just got out of so I can sit down, or do I literally stand on principle?

Here’s the thinking. People tend to form lasting opinions based on first impressions. Do I not have a responsibility behalf of any other person who is blind that these people may encounter in the future to make the “right” impression? There was also just my plain ugly old pride.  If someone asked me, I would often say, politely I hope, “No. Thank you. My legs still work.” 

As I got older and my knees got achier, my resolve got weaker. If someone got out of their seat, especially without saying anything, I would sit in it. I could pretend I didn’t see it happen. I decided it wasn’t worth making a scene, and yeah, I’d rather sit.

Sometimes an elderly gentleman would get on with me who demanded we get seats.  He actually needed one.  I always felt a little embarrassed.  “These seats are reserved for us by law,” he says. That’s true, but then I couldn’t board that train without thinking someone would get up out of guilt or a sense of obligation.  Some would say that’s good.  I don’t agree.  In the long run it’s counterproductive.  These people have been made to feel more uncomfortable around people with handicaps.  That is the opposite of what we need.  Should they get up for us?  Certainly they should be under no obligation to get up for me.  My eyes don’t have anything to do with whether or not I can stand.